Not knowing what was heading up this drive, me and my accomplice hid behind the steam roller on the opposite side that the car with no lights was coming from. There was nowhere else to hide because we were in the middle of a field full of dirt. The vehicle gets close enough so that you can hear the engine, and I crouch down real low and try to control my breathing so I am not loud. I think I did a pretty good job, but since I was so intoxicated I may have not been able to tell how loud I was. Then I can hear a dog barking, and I hear a door slam. I kept telling myself that it was just some random guy with a dog who routinely drives with his lights off, it's not a cop. It's not a cop because I'm not supposed to go to jail. I don't have a mullet, I didn't hit anyone, and I'm fully clothed, but I am drinking Natural Ice. I didn't want to face the fact that this could only be a cop.
A few moments later, a gun appears in my face with a man yelling "GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND!" The sight of the gun in my face so suddenly about made me piss my pants. I instantly cooperated and laid down on the ground. As he put the cuffs on me he kept yelling "WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND!?" I didn't know, and that's what I kept saying, and eventually he presented himself and also got the cuffs. The cop also kept saying that if we tried to run, he was going to send the dog after us. I've seen several episodes of cops, and it seems to me that cops are super paranoid about people running after they're already cuffed, but I have never seen it done. Does this happen frequently? I can't imagine doing it.
Anyway, the cop began calling us "knuckleheads" while I just laid there and cooperated. Eventually a second cop shows up and they are standing around. My accomplice, completely wasted, starts feeding them this line about how we had seen some other hooligans driving the steam roller around, and we just came out to park it where it started, because we're nice people like that. I almost laughed at the thought. Even drunk, I knew it was a terrible story and laughable at best.
So I am just laying there with my hands behind my back on my stomach and chest on the dirt and gravel. It is a very uncomfortable position. My chest was laying on a rock and it felt like it was getting grinded in to my ribcage. So I asked the cop, "Can I move over a few inches to get off of this rock?" His answer was either "No." or "No, shutup." I forget which one. So I dealt with the rock and we continued to lay there while the cops were chitchatting.
Finally I say, "What are we waiting for?" One of the cops said we were waiting for another patrol car to take us to jail. The first guy couldn't because he had a dog in the backseat, but I didn't understand why we couldn't go in the second car. So I asked, "Why can't we go in his car?" The cops kind of looked at each other and said some stuff, and agreed to do it that way. I don't know why they didn't think of that before, maybe that's against protocol to take two guys in the same car, I don't know. Eventually we get put in the car.
I did not have my drivers license on me, it was back at the apartment. So we drove over to my place so the cop could get it. Here's my opportunity. You see, in my pocket were all of the keys to several other construction vehicles I had taken over the course of a few months, and I had to get rid of them. So the cop goes and knocks on my apartment door and I see my roommate answer. The cop is distracted, and I reached my cuffed hands around to the front of my pocket and pulled out all of the keys. It was actually extremely hard to do. I took the keys and shoved them in to the seat of the cop car. Meanwhile, my roommate, underage at the time, answers the door drunk and high. I had told the cop exactly where my wallet was, it was in my bedroom right next to my television. My roommate was given those instructions and failed to find it. So the cop walks in to my room and finds the wallet right next to the television. My roommate, Vavoof, was too messed up to successfully locate the wallet. They asked if he had been drinking, he told them he had, and he was told not to leave the apartment.
The cop returns and off we go. Fear has left me at this point, and I'm actually sort of excited. The reason being, I've never been arrested before and I figured I was going to make the most of it. We were driving down Creasy Lane in Lafayette , which had a 40mph speed limit. We were doing 50mph. I asked the cop, "So you don't have to obey the speed limit?" He apparently didn't find it amusing or worth answering.
I don't recall what else was said in the car, but once we reached our destination there were conversations I couldn't forget if I wanted to. . .