Nugget Goes to Jail

This story took place about 3 years ago. Let me start this story by saying that this is probably the craziest thing that has ever happened to me. I will also say that I deserved to go to jail. Not because of my actions that landed me there, but because I drank Natural Ice beer the night I went to jail. It should be a crime to drink that stuff. Also, several people believe that I went to jail for public intoxication. While this is true, many of them think that there is nothing more to this story. My friends, it certainly is....

I was 21 years old at the time and constantly in search of anything to occupy my mind. It was pretty routine for me to drink pretty heavily and leave my apartment at the time. I would walk around my apartment complex in a drunken haze and venture off in search of something to entertain myself. Usually, this meant walking around aimlessly for 20 minutes or so before getting bored and returning to my apartment. That was until one glorious day a friend of mine told me a story about his drunken escapades.

I'll call him Mike Seever. He told me about the time he got drunk with his friends and they found a construction area. The area had heavy machinery there and the keys were left in the equipment. Pretty soon Mike Seever was over at my place, and we both had some drinks and went in search of the big yellow and metal tonka toys for adults. We found them. 

I am not mechanically inclined at all, so we sat on a back-hoe for several minutes with the key, and acheived no results. We were unable to start it, neither of us had any idea how to do it. So being a couple of nerds, we headed back to my apartment to get on the internet. The internet has all the answers, right? We wanted instructions on how to fire up a back-ho and dig some holes. After several minutes of searching (it may have been a few seconds, time is very different when you're drunk) we gave up searching. Mike Seever decided we should give it another shot. So we did.

We returned to the construction site, with our key that we kept and tried again. Mike Seever started pulling levers and pushing in clutches and things. Then I heard the greatest sound ever. To me it was like angels floated down from heaven and started playing beautiful harps. It started up with a very powerful roar. 

I have no idea how that thing started. All I know is that I wish it never had. We started playing with levers and pushing buttons like mad. You feel like God on one of those things. We were digging huge holes in a matter of seconds for no reason at all. We swung it around and slammed it in the dirt like they were our own personal toys. If it were not illegal, I'd recommend it to everyone. It is illegal, however, so don't do it.